Ask Marik and Malik
by Ms. Artemis Silver
Summary: That's right all you people, here's your change to ask random questions to everyone's favorite psychopathic duo. Marik and Malik.
1. Letter 1

_StarJen:I don't own yu-gi-oh I do own myself who is in here helping Marik and Malik out. To make things clear Marik is the Hikari and Malik is the yami. There will be foul words here from almost everyone. Note: everything in the responce is a voice typer what is said is typed down_

**From: Ricky and Ryan**

**To: Marik**

**Ryan: Marik, what type and color of underwear do you wear?**

**Ricky: Marik, are you bisexual?**

Uh Marik?

Yeah StarJen?

You have some mail.

Really?

Yes.

HURRAY FOR ME! Let me read it.(after a few minutes) WHAT THE HELL ARE THESE GUYS SMOKING?

Stupid answer the questions.

NO!

Do it! THIS COULD BE YOUR ONLY FAN MAIL!

Ok! Ryan I wear boxers cause **briefs** are gay. Ricky...WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ON CAUSE I AM NOT BISEXUAL!

Marik you know you could have been nicer.

I was nice...to Ryan.

This is going to be a while.

_StarJen: If you want to give Marik or Malik some fanmail the would like it._


	2. Letter 2

_StarJen:I don't own yu-gi-oh I do own myself who is in here helping Marik and Malik out. To make things clear Marik is the Hikari and Malik is the yami. There will be foul words here from almost everyone. Note: everything in the responce is a voice typer what is said is typed down_

**From:zetook**

**hay Malik**

I heard that you have a crush on marik...

what do yau have to say for your self ?

**  
**Malik!

What do you want?

You got mail.

Really?

Yes.

(reads the question) I DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON MY HIKARI!

Really? Then explain this.

That's my journal! How did you get it.

Bakura showed me where it was.

Give it back!

No!

Give it!

(starts reading it) Oh what shall I do I love Bakura but I love my hikari as well.

GIVE IT BACK OR I WILL SEND YOU TO THE SHADOW REALM!

Ok. Ok. Happy?

NO!

_StarJen: Next time people if you want to send mail to Marik or Malik use one of the 2 e-mail adresses on my profile to send the mail._


	3. Letter 3

_StarJen:I don't own yu-gi-oh I do own myself who is in here helping Marik and Malik out. To make things clear Marik is the Hikari and Malik is the yami. There will be foul words here from almost everyone. Note: everything in the responce is a voice typer what is said is typed down_

**Dear Marik, **

**What's up? I was hoping you can help me with my questions... **

**Whats the most embarrassing thing to happen to you? **

**What is your favorite food? **

**Will it ever end? **

**Signed, **

**- Jingles**

MARIK! YOU GOT MORE MAIL!

Did you have to wake me up at 6 IN THE RA DAMNED MORNING?

Yes!

Ok let me see it. Why the hell is his name Jingles?

I don't know just answer the questions.

I'm not going to answer that first one.

I will then.

Malik! NO!

There was this one time when we were playing truth or dare with Yami, Bakura, Yugi, Ryou, And Kaiba. Well Kaiba dared Marik to kiss Ryou and he DID!

MALIK! YOU BAKA! YOU PROMISSED YOU WOULDN'T TELL!

Oops did I say that?

LEAVE!

Ok ok. Sheesh you must have some PMS shit I swear.

Malik it's not nice to swear.

SHUT UP STARJEN!

YOU SHUT UP!

BOTH OF YOU SHUT YOU RA DAMNED MOUTH!

Ok.

ZZZZZZZZZZZ

As for my favorite food it's Kushari(1)

I don't know what you are talking about what will end.

From,

Marik

_StarJen: (1) Kushari is a type of fast food popular in Egypt, normally eaten in kushari restaurants serving little else. It consists of a base of_ _rice, lentils, chickpeas, macaroni, and a topping of sauce - typically salsa_


	4. Letter 4

_StarJen:I don't own yu-gi-oh I do own myself who is in here helping Marik and Malik out. To make things clear Marik is the Hikari and Malik is the yami. There will be foul words here from almost everyone. Note: everything in the responce is a voice typer what is said is typed down_

**malik,**

**can i have egyptian god cards? XD**

**why di you bother dueling yugi when yugi is the best duelist in the world? **

**-Moth**

Malik you have more mail.

Really? Lets see...How the hell is it right to name a kid Moth?

Shut up and answer the question.

Rance, I DON'T HAVE THE RA DAMNED GOD CARDS! THE PHAROH DOES! AND EVEN IF I DID HAVE THEM I WOULDN'T GIVE THEM TO YOU! As for dueling Yugi, He had Slifer, the Puzzle, and the Pharoh's spirit at the time. That's why I dueled him and it was the battle city finals.

Malik If you had the god cards would you give them to me?

NO! YOU COULDN'T HANDLE THE POWER!

Please!

NO!

MARIK!

WHAT!

Malik said he wouldn't give me the god cards if he had them.

He's kinda right for yelling that's first responce.

Hmph!

_StarJen: That's it for now folks. Please keep the letters going._


	5. Letter 5

_StarJen: No I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh._

**To: Marik and Malik..**

**Which one of you is the one with the weird millennium umm.. rod thingy with the things sticking out on the top? I forgot, I never really paid any attention to the Yu-Gi-Oh seriesAnomynous (this will be answered on some kind of webpage right?)**

Wow! We both got a letter!

But he called the rod a thingy!

Mind slave!

WHAT THE HELL ARE BOTH OF YOU DOING!

STARJEN!

You are READING MY MAIL?

Just the letters to us.

And you were going to make this person your mind slave!

No..

LEAVE!

OK!

_StarJen: Heh I scared those two._


	6. Letter 6

_StarJen:I don't own yu-gi-oh I do own myself who is in here helping Marik and Malik out. To make things clear Marik is the Hikari and Malik is the yami. There will be foul words here from almost everyone. Note: everything in the responce is a voice typer what is said is typed down_

**Malik,**

**1 whats with the outbursts of screams? i was just wondering XD lol and 2. ask if he will try to duel jaden for anything?**

**-Moth**

Him agian!

Who again?

This Moth person Bakura.

You mean the baka who asked about the god cards?

Yes.

Well you just answered one of his questions.

And who the hell is Jaden?

I don't know Malik!

GUYS IT'S 3 IN THE RA DAMNED MORNING GO TO SLEEP!

WHY?

YEAH WHY?

CAUSE I SAID SO! NOW DO IT OR I WILL USE THE KENDO STICK!

Ok!

_StarJen: Oh well I hit those 2 with the kendo stick anyway._


	7. Letter 7

_StarJen: Do you think I own Yu-Gi-Oh yet...sorry I don't._

**Dear Malik, **

Hello, so how are you today? I just wanted to ask if you were ever thinking of getting yourself a girlfiend and even getting laid with anyone? Also...um...how'd you get your tounge to grow so long? Its really really long. Well...That's it for today. Have a good day Malik.

Yours truly,  
-Keira

Well Keira I have tired to get StarJen laid with me but she said she's not mature enough to do it. I'm glad she's at school with Marik by the way so I can say this freely without her KENDO STICK OF DOOM! She's just a prepy girl who cares about only herself.

Yeah Malik you tell him. We need to make that girl our bitch after what she did to us!

Yeah Bakura!

Malik just make sure to knock her out then...AH!

STARJEN!

YOU WILL PAY FOR THAT!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

_StarJen: hope they don't think of that again. I didn't tell them I had a half day that day._


	8. Letter 8

_StarJen: I don't one yu-gi-oh and never will_

**Dear Marik, **

Are you a psychotic pyromaniac hellbent on ruling the world? 

Kage Neko 

Well yes I am, but I need to get free of StarJen first or make her my bitch.

That's Malik for you.

Bakura!

ARG! LET GO OF ME!

Sorry I was excited

_StarJen: Those to go free this chapter._


	9. Letter 9

_StarJen: I still don't own yu-gi-oh_

**Dear Malik, **

Hey there...again...So nice of you to answer my question...but you didnt answer the second one...grumbles So again, how'd you grow your tongue so long? If you dont answer, I'm gonna blackmail...um...someone...related to you.

Yours truly,   
-Keira 

I don't know how I grew my tounge long ok?

Bakura! That's my question!

I ANSWERED IT FOR YOU!

Great...usuless people.

Who are you?

I'm Siegfried Schtauffen.

You mean you are the one with the big ass sword Requiem?

Yes.

COOL!

Ok...

How did you get here?

StarJen invited me here.

She did?

Yes.

COOL!

_StarJen: Now my favortie SC3 charater, which i don't own is now in here._


	10. Letter 10

_StarJen: Do I even have to say it anymore? I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!_

**Dear any of the Yamis around...  
(namely Bakura and Malik),**

Thanks for answering that...but it would have been nice if Malik answered it and not you, you pathetic thief. Why, to distracted that you're not getting any questions? evil grin tries to predict Bakura's out burst laugh Oh I'm so scared! sarcastic  
And...Malik, Keep being the best that's around. --

-Keira

YOU ARE CALLING ME PATHETIC! I WILL SLIT YOUR THROAT!

Bakura no threats.

Shut up Siegfried!

Hey guys?

Yes Malik?

Where's StarJen or Marik for that matter?

You're right. They're gone.

Hey guys.

Hi..oh wait a minute...why are you guys holding hands?

I love StarJen and she will let me only hug her and hold her hand.

LOVE HER!

Yeah.

HAVE YOU BEEN HIT WITH HER KENDO STICK ONE TOO MANY TIMES HIKARI!

No.

Well there goes our plans Bakura.

Yep.

They fainted.

Strange.

_StarJen: how did you like that twist?_


	11. Letter 11

_StarJen: Don't ask i don't own the show._

**O! I wanna ask a question! **

Rune: Um...no! I'll ask them a question instaid!

Me: Aww, Runi-san! You get all the fun! pouts 

Rune: OK, I'm sending you a question now...AND YOU BETTER ANSWER BACK OR I"LL PUT YOU ON FIRE...AGAIN! Baka phyco stalkers...

Me: bye!

A Threat?

Yeah...

Ok...(Deleted)

_StarJen: What strange letters._


	12. letter 12

_StarJen: still don't own yu-gi-oh_

**Dear Malik, **

**STOP HARASSING MY HIKARI! Ra darn it do you know how many times she's freaked out and fainted from you standing outside her window...with a KNIFE even! JEZZ! **

**-Rune **

**PS. Marik, Amari says...'Hi.'**

What the fuck...I've been stuck here in StarJen's house.

_StarJen: Thats all that needs to be said_


	13. Letter 13

_StarJen: Still don't ask_

**heads up Marik and Malik a series of retarded questions r heading ur way!**

1.what would u say if i told u that im acutally the Pharaohs Daughter  
2. two weeks ago i cosplayed ur Hikari ihad my friend use a permentat marker to write the ancient scriptures on my back who should i cosplay next week?  
3. u two were in my dream last night  
4. i just stole the millenium Key and Scales from Shadi so wheres the rod? im after the items like bakura  
5. would u rather go on the tunnle of love with Tea or Serenity  
6. wats ur fav. drink?  
7. does ur life suck  
8. r u egyptian or japanese (lol)  
9. can i have the winged dragon of Ra?  
10. I CHALLENGE U MARIK the evil one TO A DUEL!

You are right these questions are retarded.

You know no one could be the Pharaohs daughter.

The person cosplayed me? I sugest you cosplay Sigfried over here. He has a big ass sword.

I really doubt you stole the Key and Scale from Shadi and currently StarJen has the rod.

You know what...I rather go with StarJen though there

That's you Hikari i would go with one of them just enough time to kill them and dump thier body in the water.

I don't think we have a favorite drink do we Malik?

Not really.

We are both Egyptian.

No you can not have Ra and no you can not duel me...StarJen took my cards.

Well that went through nicely

Shut up blondie

My name is Sigfried

I don't care!

Great.

_StarJen: Heh Heh Evil little me_


	14. Letter 14

_StarJen: I'm still doing this that means i don't have it._

**Hi, you two! Time for a round of Q&A**

1. You lived underground for, like; 10 years. how the hell do you mantain a healthy tan? You need to tell me, becuase I'm a hermit in my bedroom, and I need to get a tan.

2. (This one's for my fav. sexy-phyco yami) WTH is with the cape? Looks like your trying to immitate the baka-pharaoh with that thing.

3. (also to my fav. yami) Hairgel or electrical socket?

4. (to the 'blond-yet-at-the-same-time-not-dumb' hikari) Nice earings. Were'd you get 'em. On the same topic of jewlery; what's with that gold-collar...thingy? Doesn't that stretch your neck out?

5. and to the both of you...Virgin or not? Be truthful now...

-Nyami Rose

(PS: You need to watch your back. My My friend Holly is planning an assasination attempt on you. Why? I don't know. Ask her when she comes up behind you with an AK-47.) 

Well I was born with that dark of skin color so, I'm not the one you should turn to for tanning advice.

As for me the cape is just use to make me look more evil and for my hair it's natrual for it to be like that.

My jewery I don't know where I got it or what it is for. Now I am a virgin. My yami is not.

And I'm damn proud to not be a virgin!

Great he's rambling again

What did you say Sigfried?

I said you are rambling.

I should do something about that, but StarJen has the rod!

Then shut up!

_StarJen: I need to tell Sigfried to be nice._


	15. Letter 15

_StarJen: Why do I even say anything about the disclamer?_

**HEADS UP U TWO MORE RETARDED QUESTIONS R COMMIN UP!  
1. no im serious im from ancient egypt  
2. r u guys British or Korean  
3. y cant i have Ra! ur mean! throws a shoe at the evil marik  
4. Please Duel me i hve my deck ready  
5. do u two dance  
6. who would ya date Serenity or ME!  
7. holds up the key and scales yea i took these from shadi i had to slit his throat too  
8. HAND OVER THE MILLENIUM ROD DAMMIT!  
9. where do u two live  
10. how come u (good) marik wear alot of jewelry **

First off there is no Ra damn way you are from Ancient Egypt!

Second we are Egyptian!

Third didn't you listen to us YOU CAN'T HAVE RA! and fourth I CAN NOT DUEL YOU! FUCKING STARJEN HAS MY CARDS!

Fifth we can dance but StarJen and Bakura said we need to work on it. Sixth I would rather date StarJen.

And I would rather turn gay and date the Pharoah before I date you or Serenity.

Shadi is a spirit you can't kill the guy with a knife Bakura has tried.

Yeah it didn't worked.

AND WE WILL NOT GIVE YOU THE ROD! RA DAMNIT!

We are currently living at StarJen's, which I doubt you will find

Its tradition that Egyptions wear jewery.

_StarJen: It's strange to see how things go with me gone._


	16. Letter 16

_StarJen: I have the power to entertain you_

**Dear Malik,   
Um...hey...I'm sorta running out of things to say...well...-thinks of something- Oh yeah I remember! Hey, are you still so bent on killing the Pharaoh? Because if you are...-drags out a tied up Yami/Atem/Atemu-...I think I can help you with that...and No Bakura, I'm not asking you so shut up. And Yes I was calling you P.A.T.H.E.T.I.C. Bye!**

-Keira 

We still are but...can't kill the Pharaoh StarJen took all we use to kill and Kura won't give us his weapons so we can't kill him.

SHE STILL CALLS ME PATHETIC!

Bakura chill.

NO I WILL THIS KEIRA AND KILL HER!

Ok...weird.

_StarJen: still not here..._


	17. Letter 17

_StarJen: I can read you mind you want more._

**From: Fearless  
**

**u didnt answer my last letter i feel so rejected! tear but ANYWAY i think both u mariks are hott and i was wondering if youd like to the rule with me (im working on it give me time) and starjen (u rock by the way for making those guys ur slaves) can come to laughs evily hay did u know evil spelled backward is live?  
signed Feraless  
ps dont make fun of my name i am what it says.**

Well I think StarJen got rid of that one and we are sorry for that.

Shut up Malik.

STARJEN!!!!!!!

Yep.

How was your date with Marik

It was ok.

Wow this fearless person likes me.

You control me and Bakura

You mean Bakura and I

Shut up and don't correct me!

I can cause I control you.

AAHHHHHHHH!!!!

_StarJen: I control them...heh._


	18. Letter 18

_StarJen: Heh I have the rod. You are my mind slave._

**Dear Malik,**

How in the nine hell's name did you get your cards taken away from you by Starjen!??! Oh and...why do you want to destroy the world?

Ryan

Since when is there nine hells?

Don't ask me Sigfried!

Chill

As for how did StarJen get our cards Marik gave them to StarJen cause he loves her that suck up!

I'm right here Malik

Oh fuck! StarJen!

Yeah and Marik is very nice you dolt!!!!

AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_StarJen: Bye Bye Malik._


	19. Letter 19

_StarJen: This story must be adicting if you are coming back for more._

**YAAY MORE RETARDED QUESTIONS 4 U TWO!  
1. do u like tuna helper?  
2. r u actually egyptian or are u part brittish and egyptian  
3. i challeng u two to a dance competition  
4. (good) marik will u be my boyfriend  
5. i just kidnapped yugi can i send him to the shadow realm?  
6. if u were in rome wat would u do  
7. if u had to chose to be stranded on an island with Joey or Kaiba who would u choose  
8. do u like Pirates of the Carabean  
9. do u like R.L Stine's books  
10. have u ever had a girlfriend b4**

-Pharaoh Felicia  
(that posted those past retarded questions!)  
yaay!

What is a tuna helper? And we are 100 percent egyptian.

We are getting dance lessions at the moment so we have to decline the challenge.

I will not be your boyfriend...I'm StarJen's.

So HAH!

You know I don't care where that shrimp goes.

Where's Rome StarJen?

I'll tell you later.

I stranded on an island and had to choose between Joey or Kaiba...I would choose Kaiba.

Why Kaiba, Malik?

He has money.

Oh...I thought it was for something else.

What were you thinking?

To make out with.

Ok...Now as for that movie I like all of Depp's movies.

Ok...Now i have not read any R. L. Stine books and Malik can't read English.

Now I have not have a girlfriend and Marik has StarJen right now.

_StarJen: Marik and Malik now know where Rome is._


	20. Letter 20

_StarJen: Mind slaves galore_

**MORE RETARDED QUESTIONS!  
1. who would u go to orlando florida with ME! or Yugi   
2. did ya kno my b-day was 4 days ago  
3. r u positive that u two r egyptian  
4. what is ur favorite song  
5. wat is ur fav. movie ( THAT DOESNT HAVE DEPP IN IT!)  
6. do u know how to spell superclafracusitcexpealadocous in japanese  
7. can u say toy boat 5 times fast**

thats all i have time for

-Felicia 

You know what I rather go with the Pharoah's hikari than with you.

And none of use care about your birthday!

Right Bakura.

Those two are 100 egyptian.

Right Sigfried

Malik's favorite song is anything by a emo group

Right Marik.

Malik only watches Johnny Depp movies

Right StarJen and I don't know what hell that word is! You want me to say toy boat 5 times fast...TOY BOAT

TOY BOAT

TOY BOAST

MARIK YOU MESSED IT UP!

Sorry...

Malik has dance nude in public.

Right StarJe...hey wait...YOU WEREN'T GOING TO TELL!

YOU INSULTED MARIK!

HE'S MY HIKARI I CAN DO THAT!

HE'S MINE SO YOU CAN'T!

GGGGGGGRRRRRRRR!

_StarJen: Heh that showed him._


	21. Letter 21

_StarJen: Pop goes the yami._

**Dear Marik, why are you so damn sexy? I know you're starjens but who cares? Oh, and btw, if you had the chance to be pharoah 4 one day, what would be the first thing you would do?**

I'm so sexy just because I am! That's also how I'm StarJen's.

Bleh the two of you need to get a room.

Shut up Bakura as for if I was pharoah for one day I would make it I was pharoah for untill I die and StarJen would be right there with me.

How sweet of you Marik.

Thanks.

_StarJen: Not much can be said here. Sorry._


	22. Letter 22

_StarJen: Marik loves me. Heh_

**Dear Bakura,   
Really Bakura? You're gonna kill me? Im so scared...-sarcastic- I really wanna see that happen, come here and I'll show you the proper way on how to kill a person.**

Dear To anyone there who is hurting (the bad one)Malik...,  
Hey! How dare you hurt Malik! Why I'll -gets out her chainsaw- Cut you into pieces and I'll make you regret for even touching a single strand of his beautiful hair and his nicely tanned hot body and gorgeous face! Hehe, have a nice day. 

Dear Malik:  
Dont you worry, if anyone there hurts you, just tell me, and I'll make their pathetic lives a living hell, and that they'd wish that they'd never hurt you in the first place. -suddenly realizes what she's saying, then blushes- W--what I meant to say was...take care...! -mumbles,"I hate having a crush on somebody..."

I SURE AS HELL WITH KILL YOU AND I WILL BRING STARJEN AND SIGFRIED TO HELP!

Don't include me in your problems.

Yeah!

Well look at what you got StarJen.

...PATHETIC FOOL I HAVE THE ROD! I WILL MAKE YOU MY MIND SLAVE!

This girl has a crush on me! Yuck!

So that threat to me is just because she has a crush on you. Aw...how sweet.

IT IS NOT SWEET STARJEN!

Yes it is.

AAAAHHHHHHHHHH! I'M GOING TO GET YOU!

_StarJen: He won't get me._


	23. Letter 23

_StarJen: I will control you._

**Okay my question, will Malik, Marik, Bakura or Ryou be my boyfriend? smiles hopefully. and I brought you all new weapons since your others got taken away. gives out many weapons of destruction. **

Marik currently is taken. Malik and Bakura hate girls because of me. Ryou I don't know about him. takes weapons Thank you I will give it to them when they are ready.

_StarJen: Sorry boys only me time._


	24. Letter To StarJen

_StarJen: This is my letter. I'm so happy._

**hey you guys got my last message THAT IS SO KICKASS! but anyway hey starjen i wanna know if i can come over so u can help me take over the world (ra-damned FBI is catchting on, they started tapping my calls) and ra-yeah i like malik especially the real psycho yami one.  
signed fearless  
ps mind slaves r hot!**

I'm glad that you like my work but I have no intrest of taking over the world.

_StarJen: Seriously I don't._


	25. Letter 24

_StarJen: I rule._

**Dear Malik,   
Did you know that you're so great and evil and well everything that Bakura and your hikari is not? And beside we all know Malik is really hot...oh...wait...yeah tis true. And I'll be your slave any time of the day. Tell me to kil Bakura and I certainly will. Tell me to Kill the pharaoh and I will do it too! **

That's sweet but Malik can't come to the phone right now. He's with Bakura.

_StarJen: Try again later._


	26. Letter 25

_StarJen: Now they aren't busy._

**Dear Malik,   
Since christmas is almost near...what would you like as a christmas gift? The pharaoh's head on a platter or...hmm...you decide. And your birthday is just near christmas...what would you like for your birthday?  
Dear Bakura,  
Just to be nice to you for once...um...what would you like for your birthday? November 2 is almost here.**

-Keira 

It's October it's not near Christmas...I really don't want any gifts from you.

And do you think I will let you be nice to me after you insulted me! NO RA DAMNED WAY!

_StarJen: Since when is October near Christmas?_


	27. Letter 26

_StarJen: If you are still reading this...I control you._

**Why do you have such big hair?**

Cause I do!

_StarJen: Since I control you i'm ordering you to read my other fan fiction._


	28. Letter 27

_StarJen: Did you read my other fan fiction? If not go back and read it!_

**hey starjen glad u liked my letter even if u werent interested (and i was the first person to write to starjen and give credit where credit is due you ppl remember that) and yami malik and bakura, what do u think i should b for halloween (im gonna b egging houses mostly) and do u want to come with me?  
signed fearless **

I've got to do my best to keep Malik and Bakura controlled.

She does it really well.

Halloween...hmmm...I think you should be me for Halloween.

Bakura that's a dumb answer...the person should be me.

That's where you are wrong Malik, I'm better than you.

Then how you got sent to the Shadow Realm and got your ass saved by the Pharoah!

You did not just go there!

I did!

THAT'S IT!

RAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

See what I mean Fearless I have to keep those two in check.

_StarJen: It's true I do._


	29. Letter 28

_StarJen: I have nothing to say here._

**This question is for Baku-san and Malik-san:  
Since both of ya are tagether, who is seme and who is uke? 'Cause I can't picture any of the yamis being bottom... Who is? Or you two take turns?**

We are not like that are we Bakura?

No fucking way! I just come here!

StarJen has trapped Bakura.

The two of use just want to make StarJen our bitch. It's the other way around. The two of us are her bitches.

That's right!

I CAN'T STAND THAT GIRL!

WE BOTH CAN'T STAND HER!

_StarJen: I still control them. Heh heh_


	30. Letter 29

_StarJen: I pwn You_

**you're not tagether? REALLY?! put sarcasm here So... why Malik-sama said that he's in loke with ya, Baku-san? And why YOU put in your journal that your utmost fantasy is a Malik chocolate fondue? DON'T TRY TO DENY! I SAW IT MYSELF! **

Well...WE DO NOTHING OF THE SORT TO EACH OTHER!!!!!

THAT'S RIGHT! AND HOW DO A. MAKE UP A MALIK CHOCOLATE FONDUE AND B. SEE ME WHAT SO EVER.

YEAH UNLESS THIS PERSON FRIEND OF STARJEN'S!

THEN WE WILL KILL THEM!!!!

RIGHT BAKURA!

_StarJen: I feel sorry for those 2...NOT!_


	31. Letter 30

_StarJen: Becareful about what you say I might come back to haunt you._

**ok im gonna be yami malik for halloween so i can spike up my hair and look like a freak. ha! sorry bakura u were runner up though. and yea starjen i get it about having to keep them under control i have a stun stick if u wanna borrow it.  
signed fearless  
ps im looking for ur other fanfic to read.**

COOL! Fearless is going to be ME for Halloween!

Why you!?

I'm better than you and the Pharoah, Bakura.

GRRRR!!! Oh well that person could have been the PHAROAH for Halloween.

That would have been a bad sight.

MOVE IT!

STARJEN!

Fearless...my way is good enough to get them under control enough. Heh. As for my other fan fiction you are going to have to lookup me. Ok?

_StarJen: you don't have to answer that._


	32. Letter 31

_StarJen: Hmmm...strange ideas coming on_

**Dear Yamis,   
About the crush thing...I've had a change of heart...Its going to be a waste of my time since well...I dont know...And no Bakura I'm not being nice to you because I want to...just got asked, it was a favor from a friend. And I dont know how October got to close to December...maybe I was sleepy while typing this...oh well. And...who's what's his face that you're gonna bring along to kill me Bakura? I'm just dying to know. Oh and...I agree...StarJen, you and Marik need to get a room...BADLY.  
Ciao! -kills something on the way out-  
-keira **

Keira you are a person I hate...Marik and I don't need to get a room.

All though the idea of a StarJen chocolate fondue is not a bad idea.

Only you would like it Marik.

Yeah.

_StarJen: Don't think about it._


	33. Letter 32

_StarJen: No means to make me a chocolate fondue Marik_

**Dear Malik and Kura,  
oh I forgot...Which one of you is the guy and which one of you is gay...since both of you are always together...I mean Marik is certainly straight seeing that he has StarJen...and well the two of you? I just dont know...  
-Keira**

We are not gay.

No I was just going to get something from Malik but StarJen has kept me trapped.

Right Bakura.

STARJEN!

Yep.

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

_StarJen: You don't what to know what I did to them :)_


	34. Letter 33

_StarJen: Hello again_

**Hello Marik and Malik, you know what? Purple is a spring colour... WE'RE IN ATUME!**

For the love that all that is good WHO WOULD SEND THAT!!!!

_StarJen: Enough said._


	35. Letter 34

_StarJen: Nothing to say._

**ok starjen (i answered u anyway) and bakura is so right I COULD BE THE PHAROH! and i still get to spike my hair and dye three colors! ha just kidding maliks cooler...and i got a question for yami malik howd u get out of the shadow realm and into starjens house?  
signed FEARLESS **

StarJen let me out Fearless.

Yep. Just don't ask how I did it. I just did.

That's the only time I thanked her.

_StarJen: Totally true I don't know how I got Malik out._


	36. Letter 35

_StarJen: hmm..._

**Uh... how scary... they're treating me... BWAHAHAHAHA! LIKE I HAS SCARED FOR THESE TWO! snicker  
Well Baku-san you can make a Malik fondue this way:  
1. Put Malik like the way he came to the world in a bathtub.  
2. put melted chocolate in the tub.  
3. take Malik from that bathtub cover with the chocolate.  
4. wait the chocolate cools down and harder.  
5. eat the chocolate that is ALL OVER MALIK'S BODY!**

nham, nham, what a delightful thing to do, ne Starjen? u  
and since I know that Baku-san likes sweets, what's better than this? snikers even more  
You can even put some cherries on top. chuckle  
Oh, you two, what's your favorite dessert? I can't remember if someone have asked it before...   
Oh, Starjenn... Rashid gave to me two chocolate bars... want one? offers Don't forget please to make these ones do something "interesting" whith each other, 'kay?   
Yura Dark Angel of Death 

YAY! Lets print the letter!

Why you baka?

So I can do this to StarJen and she can do this to me.

I swear you two get a room.

Chocolate. Give me that. Oh and my favorite dessert is Doozles Strawberry Cloud. (that is Vanlla ice cream topped with Straberries and that is topped with marshmellow cream.

Mine is going to become a StarJen Chocolate Fondune.

Yum.

_StarJen: Marik digs me_


	37. Letter 36

_StarJen:Wonder what happens when I leave these two alone_

**Dear marik and malik**

hi it's been a while no ?  
I really need your help on this one ;  
so my SK teacher gave me this hard Q and she needs the A tomorro. so could you help me solv this ?  
here is the Q.

1 hikari + 1 yami x (room + a SK tool of choice) ? 

please give me the A as soon as you can ...  
Bye XD 

ZeTook

Simple answer to the equation someone is going to end up hurt.

_StarJen: Wow that seemed short how aobut I let them sit for a little while longer._


	38. Letter 37

_StarJen: Just Marik huh?_

**Dear marik,   
How much do you love starjen? And i don't think you 2 need a room 2gether.. And... what wuz ur fave time in battlecity? **

I love StarJen alot. She is SO sweet! My favorite time in Battle City was when I was saved from Malik.

_StarJen: and he leaves...ok..._


	39. Letter 38

_StarJen: Heh heh here comes some fun._

**Dear Malik and Kura,  
What did Starjen do to you? I'm really curious.**

THE GIRL IS THE DEFINETION OF EVIL!

YEAH MARIK THINKS SHE'S **SO** SWEET BUT SHE NOT!

SHE'S WORSE THEN MALIK, THE PHAROAH, AND MYSELF!

Why thank you Bakura.

STARJEN! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

Bye bye.

NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Kura! WAIT STOP! NNNNNNOOOOOO!

Bye bye to you too.

_StarJen: They are in the shadow realm right now. So they will be gone untill I say so._


	40. 2nd letter to StarJen

_StarJen: Malik is still not here._

**Dear StarJen   
Good job for sending them to the shadow realm...I hope Malik isnt to hurt and I wish Kura was dead.-- Anyway...how about you star, how much do you love Marik?**

-Keira 

Another letter for me YAY! Well Malik isn't hurt and Bakura isn't dead. As for how much I love Marik...lets just say as soon as we can get what we can I'm going to enjoy a Marik chocolate fondue. Yum.

_StarJen: Ps Keira if you want to see how Malik is doing I have the fan fic Malik's Thoughts up. I'm able to snoop in on him in the Shadow Realm. Heh heh._


	41. Letter 39

_StarJen: Shall I have mercy on those guys? You shall see._

**Dear Malik and Bakura, how in the name of ra did you get captured by a girl? U r so pathetic! and you are so not as evil as i thought you two bakas were!**

Lover of darkness

They are still in the shadow realm thinking this over sorry.

_StarJen: Nope. Ha Ha_


	42. letter 40

_StarJen: I'm still taking over this._

**aw, poor serenity.  
serenity:i'm going to kill those freaks (but not starjen, she's cool). now where did seto leave that hand grenade...   
ok, that was interesting...cool thing.  
bye**

I know where Kaiba has that grenade you can kill Malik and Bakura, but you can not kill Marik cause he's mine.

_StarJen: Ta ta_


	43. 3rd Letter to StarJen

_StarJen: I'll let them back now_

**Dear StarJen,   
That's great! I'm so relieved to hear that...aww...Kura isnt dead...that sucks...and...Enjoy your Marik Chocolate Fondue!**

-Keira 

Well I had just let them free from the Shadow Realm. They are going to be pissed at me. They can't get to me though. I locked them out of my room plus i still have a 2nd trip to the Shadow Realm as a threat

_StarJen: Told you._


	44. 4th Letter to StarJen

_StarJen: I'm back for a time now._

**Dear StarJen,  
Cool! Keep it up!**

Thanks but I shouldn't take ALL the credit for this. Marik and Malik deserve the letters.


	45. Chapter 45

**Dear StarJen,  
You know thats kinda mean. Can you let them out of your room? I have some Q's. One last fave? Can you get Ryou here to?!**

(Hopefully) Dear Yami Marik and Bakura,  
Okay I just have to ask a few Q. M/ for Marik and B/ for Kura.

M/ I read this story where you stole Yami No Baka's hair-gel and styled it like him! Would you actully do that!?  
B/ Are you sure your straight? I have unknown resources that tell me other wise. Do hope you are though.  
M&B/ Whats your sign? (Libra,Leo..)  
B/ Whats your favorite part out of eveything?  
B/ In your ancient life... how exciting is robbing tombs!!?Sounds so cool.

There they are. Please answer. I'll have Q's for you next time Malik. Love you three!  
BYE!

By, Bakura's Pet (Me: Don't make fun of my name Kura. Arkwen: You do your dead! Me: You! Go away! Don't ask. Sorry.)

GUYS!!!!!!!!

WHAT!!!!!!

You are needed.

Really?

Yes Malik really.

I did not steal anyone's hair gel.

I AM NOT GAY!!!!!!! And I don't know my sign

Same here

My favorite thing out of everything blood and I love robbing tombs.

Sorry Ryou is not here. He tends to stay away from anything that Bakura does.

_StarJen: I'm only going to 50 chapters everyone this is chapter 45._


	46. Last Letter

_StarJen: This is the end._

From: Marik, Malik, Bakura, and StarJen

To: Our writers.

We thank you for writing those letters to us. We enjoyed them. For right now we will be closing Ask Marik and Malik for the time being. We will be back though.

_StarJen: I will be writing a sequl to this. This won't happen for a while though. So fans of this fan fic keep an eye out for more of my fics. Later._


End file.
